Gender Trouble is available free online in pdf -- Multiple links, lotsa discussion:
Gender Performitivity is a Wiki link --
This forum is called "CrossDreamers" http://crossdreamlife.lefora.com
-- which to me suggests a cross dressing fantasy with erotic fantasy content, rather than an integrated trans-gender identity. DSM, and the psychiatric field uniformly view cross dressing for erotic stimulation as a "paraphilia" -- the formal clinical term for "fetish."
Discussions in these CrossDreamer Forums, particularly with regard to clothing and "passing" lurches into the "femininity fetish" mode with what appears to me as a sort of objectification fixation.
I have a life living with a mother who's business and world was women's fashion and clothing. Never in her 90 yrs do I ever remember clothing making her, her colleagues, or her models "more feminine." Either clothing fits the task at hand or it doesn't work. That's the sentiment of Oscar de la Renta I think.
If your clothing requires constant adjusting, fussing, checking, it's not working for you.
Butler talks about gender stereotypes and the semiotics of clothing. Butler, and radical feminists generally, view womens' fashion as a hegemonic affectation of patriarchal oppression. The short end of that syllogism is that men create these fashions so that men can find them sexy. And the men who dress up in these artifacts because it makes them "feel sexy" are buying into the patriarchal stereotypes -- which is a male hegemonic stereotype, not a femaie one
And so I ask about the intention, the direction, motive of this CrossDream forum. I'm a cis-M transgender, radical feminist, gender liberationist. I'm not a cross dresser.