Jamison Green -- Look! No, Don't!
If the generally agreed upon objective of "transition" is to "pass" as unremarkably gendered . . . then let me suggest that perhaps "transition" wipes out whatever personal history one might have acquired as pre-transitional. Let us suggest that transition "means" coming out of one closet and moving into a second sort of gender closet. I am 69 yrs old, and out of the closet maybe a couple years. "Out of the closet" is a sort of transitional thing. Some days I am more out of the closet than others: Typically "I'm trans!" is the second statement I make about myself -- after "I'm Geo, but we incorporated as Allison Wunderland, LLC." And so we can deconstruct the cliche statements: "I'm a male trapped in a sort of female presentation." I can pull things together and "pass" as female (in the dark, on the deserted beach -- not in 7-11 getting a soda and burrito.) And so lately I'm identifying as "queer" -- not stereotypically "male" and not "female" either. Physically I am hetero-sexual. Ontologically I am "stealth lesbian" and radical feminist. Metaphysically it's complicated. Nearly seven decades of being me and I'm not ready to set those metaphysics aside in order to "pass" as a geriatric Caucasian woman. "I am a different sort of Butch." Three Harley's, leathers, a penis, long hair in a bun, earrings, lingerie . . . I like to deconstruct the semes of gender: "not male" and "not female." Transition into "one or the other" requires that I let go of nearly 7 decades of "both" and that ironically I would be entering a second "closet" where I forfeit half of my identity. Judith Butler asserts, "Identification is always [already] an ambivalent process." I think too that identification is a fluid, dynamic process. Maybe a dialectic in search of synthesis? The synthesis I keep arriving at is "trans" or "queer" -- Not one, not the other, but rather an ontological niche in the midst of recast referents. Ultimately, I think -- I suppose -- that my concern is one of identity and personal history. In my case "69 yrs as male. 69 yrs. as trans/queer." I'm not ready to put that narrative into another closet. Thanks,