Gendered Self -- Anne Vitale, Ph.D.

The "line of narrative stating in effect:" are my words.

Vitale lays out the assertion. The words are my synthesis.  

http://www.avitale.com/

Anne, 

We ordered "Gendered Self" from Amazon. 

Your site is nicely organized, accessible, well laid-out. Nice to have
an abstract of each chapter -- as an academic I appreciate that. 

I was particularly struck by your line of narrative stating in effect:
The trans experience must resolve the incessant dilemma of not feeling
"gender appropriate" and thereby move toward the integration of a sense
of self that lies somewhere between the "hetero-normative dyad" -- not
"male" nor "female" but rather ontologically and existentially unique. 

Briefly -- I was raped at 9 yrs old by a slightly older (4 yrs) uncle,
and again in the US Army. I was aware of gender differences and inclined
toward "cross gender identity" as a pre-teen. The sexual abuse taught me
that men and male sexuality are aggressive, intrusive, typically
unwanted by cis-women, etc. etc. The identity with which I feel alien is
that of the male sexual initiator/aggressor. 

I'm not so much concerned with "passing" as female, but rather ensconced
in the deconstruction of gender cues, attributes. I push hard on
non-binary. Gratefully the Veterans Admin finds me 100% service
connected for PTSD (sex abuse trauma), and Gender Dysphoria (DSM5) --
the recent VA hospital stay validated my presentation/identity by
assigning me to a private room rather than a ward with men. 

Ph.D. in English/linguistics, concentration in post-structuralist
critical theory, emphasis in gender theory per Judith Butler, Anne
Fausto-Sterling. My current view is that the normative dyad of gender
presentation oppresses both sexes. I no more aspire to lipstick and
heels than I do to jock-straps and growing a beard. 

"Smoke, mirrors, and keep them on their sexist toes!"

Ambiguously,  

Allison